i no know

I kind of hate this article about "preternaturally beautiful men". I already know that Klaus Kinski and Tim Curry are all gross and strangely sexual. I don't need pictures and detailed explainations. But then again I kind of like it. Have you ever seen so many strange looking faces all at once like that? All in a row?

If you want my two sense, and I know you do, I think they missed Michael Keaton. Le Evidence:

Drank way too much coffee today. Feelin the vibes. Fuckin just in LOVE with eagles right now cuz I watched this documentary on tv last night. Victoria apartment search is tomorrow. Wish me luck.

i wish i could enjoy being unemployed. there's a lot of great things about....it.

daydreaming about working on a new england farm. i like the sounds of the places: new haven, rochester, salem, dover, greenfield.
i'm glad that i have someone to go on adventures with.

"They would rub the dirt off an onion with their hands and eat it on the spot, just like an apple."

these are strange days.
just remember, you can't fuck up your life. that only happens in the movies, right?

Have you ever randomly picked a book off the library shelf and suddenly felt a shiver spread over your whole body, like you were destined to pick up this book and it's contents are almost too dangerous, too powerful for you to read...but curiosity quickly overcomes your fear and you peer inside...allowing yourself to be drawn in to the strange logic of the mysterious book...following the trail of breadcrumbs further and further....

Here's some books that have given me the shivers lately:
Under Deadman's Skin: Discovering the Meaning of Children's Violent Play By Jane Katch (eavesdropping on children who like to talk about violence and death)
Beyond Geography: The Western Spirit Against the Wilderness By Frederick Turner (offers poetry as history)
Friendship (A japanese novel written at the turn of the century about a love triangle between three friends. The end is so wonderfully heartbreaking. I can't remember the author and the book seems to be mysteriouly missing from the library...)

i can't wait to finish so i can get stoned and listen to warm heart of africa....

Army
Fudgie
Trellis
Jay Dude
Trent
Sock
Bud
Marang
Cat


I forget the other ones. I actually really like the name Trent. I went for an interview today to work at the Olympics because i want to work next semester and make some $$$. OMG RIOT 2010 NO OLYMPICs on Stolen NATIVE LAND!!!

If i get it that means back to van or maybe whistler? i'm cool with that. as long as i get to come back here when it's over :)

There was a santa parade downtown yesterday. We walked along the street in the opposite direction for a few blocks so the parade went double fast. There were a lot of parade-appropriate things like a bagpipe band playing jingle bells, gymnast kids wearing red felt antlers and looking scared of their domineering gymnast instructor (i may have been projecting a little bit), whale-watching float with a wave on the back, remote control cars fighting, horses with bells, people waving out of cars with christmas lights and carolers. Carolers always make me uncomfortable. Then there was this kid being pushed in a stretcher by two paramedics. The stretcher was decorated with tinsel and the kid was kind of lying down just staring at the sky. I think the paramedics waved, but it was still really weird. At the end santa was waiting with his reindeers at the intersection, waiting to be let in.

a new album called TEEN DREAM that leaked a few days ago. it's quite good! Can't find a youtube but I recommend downloading it.

I'm better now. After a late night internet breakdown the big ecology presentation is finally over! And it went OK! Just OK!

Down by ross bay cemetery and the beach along dallas road there's a big outcropping called clover point where people fly kites on windy days. Today it was really windy so I decided to go for an evening stroll and check it out. I almost got knocked over as soon as I stepped out of my little suburban sanctuary. What a storm! What wind! The wind got inside my tuque and one of my ears actually whistled or something. It kind of hurt. Prob gunna go deaf now.

There were so many cars lining up to park at clover point. The neatest thing was that the beach was all dark except for the headlights illuminating the huge green waves below.

I would have gone to the cemetery to see if any bodies were being carried away by the sea but the wind was conveniently pushing my hood on if I went the other way.

Fact! "Non-Christians were buried in the southwestern corner of the cemetery. This land was so close to the ocean that winter storms sometimes washed away graves. Chinese and Japanese Buddhists and First Nations people who had not converted to Christianity were buried there."

Maybe it's just me, but I'd rather have my body dramatically swept away in an ocean storm than slowly rot away in a dusty old cemetery. There's something so romantic about a corpse disappearing into the sea :)

Read the first few pages of "The Road" by Cormac McCarthy while I was waiting to meet up with Lauren in chapters today. It made me feel really depressed - maybe because of the bleakness, harshness and indifference of the landscape McCarthy describes with such amazing detail. it just me feel so strange, like i was re-reading a book i had already read in a past life. anyways, i should probably just get over it cuz i'd like to read the book and the movie looks intense and awesome.

how do you escape a ghost of influence? the presence of someone who is no longer there to put ideas in my mind, but still does, gently, pushing, nudging in from the past. i feel like i've got a lot of ghosts haunting me lately. people in my life who have come and gone and have left their mark. faint little permanent scars left for me to look at and begrudgingly admit that they really influenced me and will continue to do so forever.

been getting so completely faded all the time lately. i hope it's not going to make me fail math class. last night was fun. it's times like last night that i really miss vancouver. but then i think about those woods near my house, the graveyard when it's foggy, the way the ocean looks at sunrise and i must admit that i've been seduced by the beauty and mystery of the island.

this morning i realized that i'm starting to feel like i'm living in a french new wave movie. it's kind of nice.

here's some more music to enjoy :)

Fuck. I have way too many blog/internet person things going on right now. Here's full list (as far as I can remember, at least...):

1. This thing here, LJ
2. Facebook
3. Myspace (wtf does that even exist anymore?)
4. Blogger about Explorers and Adventurers
5. Wordpress about UVic bunnies
6. Twitter (that i never update)
7. Tumblr (that i just created yesterday)


this is so stressful. i should probably cut back.

I'm volunteering at this Martlet (Uvic newspaper) charity concert tonight. i'm a little bit nervous though because i don't know anyone going to it and my shift is coat check at 12-1am! so do i go and see the whole show and be a loner or show up at like midnight just for my shift? my life is so lame :P

looking for a new place to live, possibly with becca and sarah which would be really, really sweet...but i'm always apartment hunting. i think i've turned into a nomadic, loner, perma-student who's addicted to starting new blogs and never updating them.

I learned about this really cool dude Paul Erdős "nomadic hobo-genius" in my ecology class today. He was basically a vagabond mathematician who was addicted to coffee and amphetamines. He'd show up at friends houses, tell them "my mind is open" and sleep over at their houses or offices as long as they would let him. In return, he would help them solve whatever difficult math problems they were working on at the time. As you would expect, he had a bunch of other idiosyncrasies like saying people who stopped doing math had "died" and he referred to children as "epsilons".

....i called someone i shouldn't have, but everything turned out OK in the end! no harm done. thank you megan for thinking ahead of yourself and anticipating future weakness/stupidity/temptation! thank you long distance charges automated message woman voice for bringing me back down to reality! ya. cool.

and here's my halloween costume inspiration. I started sewing it tonight.



no party invitation for halloween night though. it's nice having so many roommates but i find myself being a little bit socially lazy because i usually have people to hang out with at home. i could make more of an effort with the girls i talk to in class, but i'm not comfortable putting myself out there yet i guess. also - i'm secretly a little scared they might turn out to be like 18 or something :(

I've got readings and assignments to do but I can't seem to concentrate. I'm feeling adrift. There's just too many things on my mind that I have no control over. Sarah said I should just focus on school and be a big keener. Go to the gym, eat healthy, take good care of myself. Do my homework, don't drink and smoke so much. Certainly don't go blaze and lie in bed watching the hills drinking coke zero. That's not the mature thing to do.

There were some things I figured out this weekend:

1. i'm too old for pub crawls
2. people interpret situations through their own lens of experiences/biases/insecurities
3. www.cllct.com
4. wavves and best coast

 yellow trees outside the library, yellow walls inside my room. i woke up this morning and felt alone. did something i know is right even if though it hurt. guess i'm all grown up now.

Arbutus trees are one of my favorite trees so I'm lucky to be living in a place where they grow in relative abundance. You can often find them hanging dramatically over an ocean bluff, or twisted around an exposed, windswept rock face. At Uvic there's a few huge arbutus trees and you can see patches where students have pet them so much that the bark has worn away to the smooth bottom layer. It feels really good to pet the smooth part of an Arbutus tree:) The gnarled trunk and unique burnt-orange peeling bark always makes the Arbutus stand out amongst the other trees which is part of the reason I like them. I learned that another name from the Arbutus is Madrone (the "e" is silent). What a wonderful sounding word! Madrone!

I also found out that Madrone is a Spanish word for Strawberry Tree, which it resembles. Isn't that weird? I'd never heard of a Strawberry Tree before today - so I looked it up...

life is like a dream lately. i got so mad today and then so happy and then annoyed and then numb. feeling, for the most part, mighty independent. everything is OK. is this life? is this where i wanted to get to? now what? it's funny when things are just ALRIGHT. not perfect, but not bad -livable -there's nothing to strive for. well that's a lie, there's plenty to strive for and i really should be doing some math homework right now and making my resume look better...but....mmmm my head is deliciously in the clouds. or maybe floating along near the ocean listening to the waves at night. if you walk down moss street near my house it takes you right to the ocean. i love the feeling of walking walking walking not paying attention and then all of a sudden! there it is! there's always a light fog even on sunny days that blends sky and moutains and water together making everything shades of blue-grey and lit from within.

- free burger & avoided frosh crap
- first copy editing for the newspaper!
- found best/cheapest coffee on campus (munchie bar!? what.)
- lost in the rain/can't find my classroom/feeling like a newbornbabygirl
- cutest bunnies ever can't stop trying to pet them
- gym situation is baaad
- my computer is broken. spending too much time in the biblio lab
- random on campus roommate encounter that made me feel good about life
- short commute and double decker buses omg!
- still trying to get a job...

privateparts

I think it's funny when old people try to use the internet. The usually look at the Walmart website or fwd terrible emails from the 90's. Some jackass invented a search engine called cRANKy that's specifically for people over 50. WTF does that even mean? Looks like a shitty search engine with big font to moi. The grossest thing about it is that when I last looked, "SEX" was included in the top 10 searches of the day (along with "rachel ray recipes" and "jobs after retirement"). Ew. Old people want sex. Searching for "sex" on cRANKy will get you nowhere, except maybe wikipedia or a tame pbs documentary. OMG are old people children now? Do we have to give them a special search engine that will filter out the AMAZING VARIETY of PORN that the internet was INVENTED FOR? either way, cRANKy is stupid and old people looking for sex on the internet is gross (don't their genitals just disapear?) and sad (when they aren't allowed to see the good stuff).

dreamt of a crazy old man violently striking young boys in the head with a wooden mallet. blood splatter, clouded red eyes. and a washroom with so many windows and no curtains except for a curtain over the mirror.


I can't even bring myself to watch the whole Natalie portman interview on Between two ferns. he starts asking about her dog and...ah just too awkward.

what happened to the lolcats? sure, i still look at them sometimes because it's in my reader but i don't lol anymore. has icanhascheezburger gone sour? or maybe it's me who's changed?

seriously though. it can't be me. NOT FUNNY! NO LOLZ!!!

amazing, well-written, creepyasfuck book. please go and read it now. even if you don't like true crime novels you will not be able to put it down. i talked to mom about it and she said she read it as a teenager and it CHANGED HER LIFE! wtf?? it's that good. i mean, sure ok it makes you feel like the world is a scary, dangerous place full of pyschopathic criminals who just want to slit your throat for a few bucks...i'm gunna go watch the movie Capote asap!!

on an unrelated note- i'm going to try and make tie-dyed tights kind of like this: http://www.burdastyle.com/howtos/show/885#

but without the fade part. i just want tie-dyed tights.

neat!

matt and i used our air canada credit from last summer on plan tickets for the end of april. vegas baby vegas! but mostly just driving out into the desert. i want to shoot a gun and hear it echo against the desolate mohave hills. and i want to go to there: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhyolite,_Nevada